When you’re hungry in Miami make a trip to Coral Gables.
First stop—Epicure Gourmet Market & Cafe on Le Jeune. Don’t Let the one-percenters intimidate you. Walk in like you own the place and grab a basket.
Sashay to the pastry counter where you can usually choose between flakey Jewish rugelachs or some other fruity shortbread pastry—or why choose? Have both. They are displayed for your sampling pleasure, so sample.
Occasionally they also have a chocolate tasting to your left near the sushi cooler (don’t eat the sushi—it’s not free), so make a quick stop there before you head to the deli counter.
At this point, the salivary glands are warmed up and you’re ready for a hearty main course. Peruse the salad options and ask to taste a few. Bring your significant other and talk about how you’re planning a luncheon for 100. Should you have the mango or the pistachio cranberry chicken salad? Why not both? Sample two or maybe three. Prefer fine dining? Try the crab salad. Sample and make appreciative noises. Nod and discuss your choice with your friend—other people in the aisle.
When the deli clerk is distracted, make a quick shift into the weekend wine tasting. Taste both red and white. If you’re lucky they’ll have a sparkling option. Try that too. Have your partner distract the wine lady and get an extra for yourself. Thank her, and say you’ll definitely get a case for your next party.
On you move to the cheeses. Now here you may have some selection. There might be goat cheese with a fruity compote or humus with a selection of some exotic rainforest crackers. Try both–twice. Slowly move away from the table and walk backwards until you reach the fruit. If, because you’re walking backwards, the wine lady doesn’t recognise you, grab another little glass as you go.
In fruits and vegetables select a sample of the fresh pineapple they’re offering. The produce guy is only waiting around to weigh vegetables and is bored out of his mind. If you take extra, then he can entertain himself by cutting up another. In fact, you’re doing him a favour because you’re helping him keep his job.
At this point, your basket is empty and your bellies are getting close to full. Slip back out the way your came, grab another cookie or treat from the pastry counter (they will have forgotten about you at that point) and put the basket back.
From there, head over to the Village of Merrick Park. Go to the shoe section of Nordstrom. Try on shoes and lounge around on their comfy leather benches (you’re tired from your adventures at Epicure.) Eventually a lady from the bistro upstairs comes by and offers slices of hot and delicious margarita pizza. She wants to tempt you upstairs to the restaurant, but you keep your resolve. Have your partner distract her with a really nice pair of boots and grab another slice off the tray. Tell her it’s delicious and that you’ll both be right up after you buy the 30 pairs of shoes and boots strewn across the floor.
When she leaves, put the boots & shoes back and head over to Yogurberry and sample each of the flavours. Taro is amazing!
Make your way to William & Sonoma for seasonal samples as well as a tiny glass of coffee, hot chocolate or cider. You never know what you’re going to get!
Finally, to reward yourself for your stealth and cunning, head back to Nordstrom and buy a pair of shoes with the money you’ve saved not buying food.
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