The first rule of cooking is to keep things spicy.
Life is too short for bland food. Add salt, pepper, garlic, chillies, pastes, powders and sauces. Don’t be afraid to sweat. Heat will clear your pores, extend your life, save your marriage.
People who eat spicy food, laugh more, dance more, sing more. Spicy-food people are passionate lovers, attractive and fit. Spice turns your hair to silk and your teeth become pearls in a red velvet box.
When you embrace a life of spice you have more friends, attend parties and you travel. Your car repels dirt, your house stays clean and your dog never barks. Money sometimes falls from the sky (not even kidding here.)
You become an athlete, an author, a visionary.
To help you to embrace a spicier lifestyle,’s I’m including a brief guide on the benefits and uses of various spices:
Crushed red pepper: Use in anything you want. Improves sex life and social life
Red curry paste: Use in anything you want (just chucked some in a lobster bisque the other day- yum). Improves athletic ability and your dog’s behavior
Regular old curry: Use in anything you want (particularly good in fishcakes). Improves your creative powers and dancing ability. Some people start to sing better too.
Cayenne Pepper: Use in anything you want. Improves your ability to clean and organise. Some people experience a surge in psychic ability. Prevents ingrown toenails.
Any Sriracha sauce: Use in anything you want. Improves hair and nail quality and writing ability. You find money on the ground.
2 Comments
Then there’s “Dave’s insanity”- goes right off the richter scale and apparently some victims have claimed it can burn a hole in your tongue!
Now that sounds tasty! Gotta get me some of that!