The Write Class

The best thing about flying first class, other than the comfortable seats perfect for writing, is the warm chocolate chip cookie which goes remarkably well with a glass of Chardonnay. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regularly fly business or first class or club or whatever other fancy name you want to tag on to what actually should be called, “flying with dignity, ” but I know a good thing when I see it.

Normally, I’m herded in with the rest of the “economy passengers” shamelessly  jammed into tiny seats with no leg room between crying children and big guys toting bags full of smelly burgers.

I book tickets based on price and time, but lately, because the gods have taken pity on me, I’ve been coming up on the winning side of things.

My first trick  is to book multi-destination travel on Expedia. I get the best fares and then miraculously, when my confirmation arrives, I’m in seat 3A or 6B and I’m getting emails asking me what I want to eat. Of course, all I really care about are the cookies and wine…

But the problem is that even one flight in “Business” can turn you into a business addict, every economy flight there after a journey via cattle car.

On a recent trip to Washington DC to visit my daughter, Ellen, I was presented with an $83  upgrade option when I checked in at the airport. With the warm chocolate chip cookie still fresh in my mind from my last Expedia inspired upgrade, I quickly did this little bit of math:

Free check bag savings: $25
Free drink $7
Another free drink $7
Free food $15
False sense of safety $100

Value of Benefits $154

Cost      $83

Savings: $71

There are those of you who may think the false sense of safety isn’t worth $100, but I beg to differ. On this particular flight from Bermuda to DC, the plane encountered turbulence. When you are in economy and this happens, the children scream louder and the burger eating guys eat more. The flight attendants discontinue service and you are left to battle the elements on your own .

Such is not the case in “safety class.” Even in the height of turbulence you get your warm chocolate chip cookie and although your Chardonnay is sloshing around like a tsumani in your glass, you’re offered refills. With smiling flight attendants catering to your every need, you file your imminent death to the back of your mind and write, happy to have saved $71.